My Parents were Angels, Oh My!
So many people may talk badly about their parents; things and/or Love that their parents did not give them. I have been one of these people. My parents were perfectly imperfect and they had a lot of flaws. My mother was and is a bully, a gossiper, toxic as in being manipulative or afraid to ask directly for what she needed out of fear of being told No or being rejected, codependent, a wanna-be perfectionist, self-righteous (in the religious sense even, SCARY!). She was unable to learn, Grow, change to be in more stable loving relationships, and she did not trust the people she needed to trust the most and trusted some people that she should not have trusted. She was not ever extremely vulnerable, not overly honest about how things or people made her feel, and did not share her early Life experiences growing up to help others grow or learn. She was ashamed of exposing the worst things that ever happened to her. I love honesty. I love learning experiences about a person’s Life, whether good or bad. I try not to judge as she has judged other people and even judged herself in a negative manner. I love positive people.
My father was extremely prejudiced and judgmental as well. He was an extremely hard and diligent worker, yet he was verbally abusive. He degraded anyone who may have tried to get ahead, especially if he was kind enough to allow you into his World or have a friendship with you. He made subtle jokes about others as well. I had put my father on a Pedestal for so long and that was only because he financially provided for our family but was not able to truly respect his children or even his wife/my mother. My father felt inferior to others, as did my mother. My mother was extremely competitive with others and I didn’t ever hear her Praise or support anyone who ever made an effort to provide or to make something of their lives, be it a female or a male. She was more apt to put down women however. I think it’s a trait or habit that was learned from her mother and her brothers sadly and it truly disappointed me that she and my father were both the way they were. There was nothing I could do for them. I could only try to figure out what I could do for myself and it’s taken a while for me to do that.
So here is the sweet part. There are No two people on this Planet that have ever been there for me more in a financial sense than my parents. This makes them ANGELS in my eyes. Not to say I haven’t had other people in my Life that did not come close. My first husband came VERY close. Oh wait, that reminds me that some people are truly able to Love greater than others. My ex-husband was very much positive and motivating unlike it seemed my parents may have been on a 24/7 basis. Remember, I am a positivity addict. I am laughing at myself because I really am. Let me tell you something, there is NOTHING better than a Judgment & self-awareness Detox!!! My parents could have used this. Truth.
The only other time I remember Angels coming into my Life is when I attended a Church out in Seattle, Washington. I met a great older couple that used to take me out to dinner once a week and occasionally give me rides to places if I needed them and they lent me an ear if I needed to talk. ANGELS!, They do exist. They are once in a Lifetime. The other Angels were from the Church I attended a few years ago. I had joined a Group of women who had prayed for me and each other constantly and little miracles would happen around me. It was good while it lasted. I needed a change and I certainly took one after this group of women were together for a couple of years.
I wish that my parents had taught or provided a better example for their children/my siblings to love one another better, yet somehow I became a major enemy to them. I was the main Scapegoat, so that others did not have to face the truth of their own faults or insecurities. Needless to say, I had to do major reflection and Research about what was happening? Why was I being abused and accused? Why was I the one Always at fault? I get it now. It’s because of their own judgments of themselves for trying so hard to be ‘Perfect’, so hard to be make something of themselves or feelings of inadequacies and it was just easier to blame me and make me look like it was “Just me” that was imperfect, not doing enough. I am rolling my eyes. I’VE COME A LONG WAY! My Angels were Angels in a certain Light, yet they were not in others. I hope everyone encounters their own Angels, better Angels. Everyone deserves someone!
Perhaps Interview people who believe in Angels, especially Angels that are in the form of Humans.
Recent Comments