Perhaps the most important and best thing we can ever do for ourselves is not to allow others to persuade us out of what we truly Believe. The things we know won’t harm us. The things that would never cause us to lose our health and to truly be able to give to others, not just one person. It is EXTREMELY important to look out for ourselves. I hold on to values of really not trying to hurt someone else. I have however also gotten vengeance on someone that hurt me and it didn’t really do much in the long run. By that, I mean, it didn’t change that person from ever wronging me again. Sure, it hurt the person I got back, yet it didn’t change anything in our relationship in the long run. I know that sounded repetitive. 

Some of my values and beliefs have changed incredibly in the last three to four years. I definitely see things from a totally different perspective than all of the members of my Immediate family and perhaps even differently than my extended family. I told myself that I would be completely vulnerable and share some of the beliefs that I have. I have definitely changed my Spiritual perspective and that is only because the Christians in my Life have tunnel-vision. They don’t have the same heart as me when it comes to possibly opening their doors up to someone who could be homeless, especially not their own bloodline. I have been homeless and felt like I had no control of my own Life and decisions and nowhere else to go and no one else to turn to for Safety. Do not get me wrong though, and I am completely sounding like a double-standard here, but there are certain people I would not open my door to as well. Two of my most memorable experiences of people in my Life that were not Christian who did anything for me were my Catholic friends. My old friend and acquaintance Katey and her parents opened their doors to me when I was struggling and also my Pretend adopted mother Geneva. I will never forget either of these Groups of people for as long as I live. I would elaborate on the Story, yet it just goes to show that good things and miracles come when you least expect and from people you least expect. 

The last four men I had had a relationship and friendship with were completely toxic to me and really had nothing to offer me. I made believe in my mind that they had something to give as I had seen them give to other people in both big and small ways. I wanted to be given the same way. I wanted to feel Safe and protected by them. I compromised everything and all my Values for them, for a false fantasy. Needless to say, lessons are definitely learned. I am probably Only going to say this once, if you are a Parent, PLEASE NEVER hesitate to tell your children to “Love themselves”, explain what it means, to not Sacrifice your own health and mind over someone else, especially if they hurt you once or even maybe a dozen times. There needs to be a line you draw, a Boundary. 

There is so much fun relative to the Values you hold true to. A new value I am going to hold on to much like the word Loyalty is being Competent. My therapist at the moment just shared this word with me and I’m going to tell you that I have seen this word so many times in my Job Search. Companies and people want someone who is competent and able and who is fully going to Show up. Ironically, I already knew this, it’s just I have to constantly tell myself EVERY SINGLE Day just as I will show up for myself in my own Business!!!

So the other day I had listened to a good educational Class on Branding and how we can represent and show up for ourselves and for others and it got me thinking. I was hoping and praying to be able to think more clearly and gain some Clarity and Creativity as I was having blocks to what I would write next. About seven or eight months ago, I had all these ideas in my head and some of them stuck with me and others just left. I wish I had written all of them down now. Some I did write down and that’s what I have already written about. So, as I was watching this Branding Class, I realized that the one Common Denominator is how we Show up, how we Love, how we give what we have to give and to share. 

Much of my bloodline has said I didn’t have much to give and yet they never really observed or knew what I have already done and accomplished in my Life. My siblings were raised up to compete and compare ourselves to one another, particularly my baby sister and my second oldest brother. Often my brother doesn’t realize the truth about the woman I lived with the last seven and a half years. It doesn’t matter anyhow whether some people don’t know the real truth. We all chose to see what we chose to see. 

When I signed up to be a Member of the Assembly of God Church in 2015, I learned what my Spiritual Gifts were. Some people in the Real Working World may also call these Values, Knowledge and even Soft Skills. My Spiritual Gifts are Knowledge and Wisdom. I also have the ability to understand empathic people. I can understand other people’s pains, struggles, and hardships. I have been in their shoes. I have been judged as they have been judged, especially if we made several wrong turns in Life, or Here it Comes!, we just totally Gave up on Ourselves cause things got too hard. 

Anxiety can totally take over when we have so much to Give, so much to offer the World. Things to say to hopefully give other people insight and perspective, knowledge to Grow, to Succeed and how to make things work in a Balanced way. I have struggled with Anxiety when someone makes me nervous as well. When people in a position of Authority already, it is EXTREMELY difficult for them to see other perspectives. I am more drawn to people who are willing to be creative and accept the possibility that something else may work if we give it a try. We don’t know unless we TRY the ideas. That is where we may fail to make something or someone better! 

The other part of my Anxiety is becoming so anxious about getting something accomplished. I get excited about putting my Goals and plans into action. I have to stop myself and realize I need to break things down. I need an Outline. I have done a ton of Research and sadly, I have almost always forgotten to take notes. Me? Not writing things down? Ha. If I wrote everything down, I would be so disorganized. I already have two Journals as it is. I have a Journal for my Daily and weekly things I have done and accomplished, people I pray for and I also have a Future Self Journal with all my future ideas. Organizing is important. I have had to figure out a method to put things in their proper place so you know where to go for the much needed things. 

There are many times over that we may have to Come back to ourselves when we Sacrifice too much for someone else. I have allowed so many distractions in my Life, including believing I could help fix someone, particularly broken men. I have always had to Come back to myself. To reset my mind and my Subconscious. To really know my worth for people who broke me down and made me doubt myself and what I am capable of. Projection is a nasty thing! I am thankful to all my Positive mentors who have told me to go where the energy is, to go where you see a need, to go where there are like-minded people who have similar knowledge and experience to offer. People who are in need who want help are the easiest to work with. They believe in Growth, they believe in something better awaiting for them. You will know the difference after your help has been turned down so many times. Just keep trying, just keep working, just keep Loving as much as possible!