About four years ago I took a two-day Course in Customer Service Problem Solving Skills and how to deal with Upset Customers and in the Course I remember we had to look at several pictures that had two or three different pictures within one drawing and another that had several hidden items within a picture. Both of these exercises were used to help us see or gain a different perspective to how things are drawn or even sometimes written into something. It is more difficult for us to understand what someone’s meaning is if they don’t fully explain it. What I mean by this is that people speak incompletely. I often called it speaking in riddles. Two particular members of my family would leave things out or not explain their full meanings to something. I was supposed to automatically know what they meant. I am laughing out loud. I have had to think hard and Research and analyze what other people have meant. Can you see me rolling my eyes?
I recently had a member of my family explain the difference between someone who is Logical and someone who may be too emotional to understand what they mean by something. What I find funny is that when this person played a Ted Talks video on the keys to using facts versus emotions, that within that same Video, it talked about having different perspectives. Nowhere in this tough discussion with this family member did they recognize that. I came to the Conclusion from our discussion that I was the only one who would be able to see their perspective and yet they could not see mine. Head tilt. Bottom line, apparently emotions are not facts. Why couldn’t they just say that? Shrugging it off. How does one have a discussion with someone who is logical and not empathic? Is it possible?
When I talk about emotions not being fact; to me, all emotions are Valid. It does not mean that another person will take them as Real. Why? Because they can not and are not able to put themselves into your shoes. Because they did not go through what you went through emotionally, things that could have traumatized us or left us feeling abandoned. Empathic people are the Only ones who are able to do this. My emotions were not ever allowed to truly be shown growing up and even now as an Adult sadly. In psychology, therapists talk about this not being seen or even heard. That nothing we said would ever be validated or understood or shown Compassion and to help us work through and identify where our behaviors could be modified.
Perhaps Interview empathic people who have different perspectives.
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