Showing Up for Myself and Others

Showing Up for Myself and Others

by | Jun 10, 2020 | Christianity, Mentoring, Self Care

So the other day I had listened to a good educational Class on Branding and how we can represent and show up for ourselves and for others and it got me thinking. I was hoping and praying to be able to think more clearly and gain some Clarity and Creativity as I was having blocks to what I would write next. About seven or eight months ago, I had all these ideas in my head and some of them stuck with me and others just left. I wish I had written all of them down now. Some I did write down and that’s what I have already written about. So, as I was watching this Branding Class, I realized that the one Common Denominator is how we Show up, how we Love, how we give what we have to give and to share. 

Much of my bloodline has said I didn’t have much to give and yet they never really observed or knew what I have already done and accomplished in my Life. My siblings were raised up to compete and compare ourselves to one another, particularly my baby sister and my second oldest brother. Often my brother doesn’t realize the truth about the woman I lived with the last seven and a half years. It doesn’t matter anyhow whether some people don’t know the real truth. We all chose to see what we chose to see. 

When I signed up to be a Member of the Assembly of God Church in 2015, I learned what my Spiritual Gifts were. Some people in the Real Working World may also call these Values, Knowledge and even Soft Skills. My Spiritual Gifts are Knowledge and Wisdom. I also have the ability to understand empathic people. I can understand other people’s pains, struggles, and hardships. I have been in their shoes. I have been judged as they have been judged, especially if we made several wrong turns in Life, or Here it Comes!, we just totally Gave up on Ourselves cause things got too hard. 

Anxiety can totally take over when we have so much to Give, so much to offer the World. Things to say to hopefully give other people insight and perspective, knowledge to Grow, to Succeed and how to make things work in a Balanced way. I have struggled with Anxiety when someone makes me nervous as well. When people in a position of Authority already, it is EXTREMELY difficult for them to see other perspectives. I am more drawn to people who are willing to be creative and accept the possibility that something else may work if we give it a try. We don’t know unless we TRY the ideas. That is where we may fail to make something or someone better! 

The other part of my Anxiety is becoming so anxious about getting something accomplished. I get excited about putting my Goals and plans into action. I have to stop myself and realize I need to break things down. I need an Outline. I have done a ton of Research and sadly, I have almost always forgotten to take notes. Me? Not writing things down? Ha. If I wrote everything down, I would be so disorganized. I already have two Journals as it is. I have a Journal for my Daily and weekly things I have done and accomplished, people I pray for and I also have a Future Self Journal with all my future ideas. Organizing is important. I have had to figure out a method to put things in their proper place so you know where to go for the much needed things. 

There are many times over that we may have to Come back to ourselves when we Sacrifice too much for someone else. I have allowed so many distractions in my Life, including believing I could help fix someone, particularly broken men. I have always had to Come back to myself. To reset my mind and my Subconscious. To really know my worth for people who broke me down and made me doubt myself and what I am capable of. Projection is a nasty thing! I am thankful to all my Positive mentors who have told me to go where the energy is, to go where you see a need, to go where there are like-minded people who have similar knowledge and experience to offer. People who are in need who want help are the easiest to work with. They believe in Growth, they believe in something better awaiting for them. You will know the difference after your help has been turned down so many times. Just keep trying, just keep working, just keep Loving as much as possible! 

Stop Being So Tough on Yourself

Stop Being So Tough on Yourself

by | Jun 10, 2020 | Life Experience, Relationships, Self Care

I’m mostly writing this Chapter based on my observance of my mother and sister all of my Life. It’s been interesting to see them in their striving for Perfectionism. Things had to be done a certain way. They had to have things organized and put where they wanted. They had to have their dishes washed a certain way. They were major clean-a-holics. There could never be specks of anything on dishes. The list goes on! 

OK, so I changed my mind, I have observed other people as well do things perfectly down to the wire it seems. When I have worked in the Service Industry, you have to be organized, take Sanitary and clean-up precautions. Everything has to be followed by procedure and by Policy. This keeps things neat and it provides a degree of comfort to Customers and other people. I will agree there is nothing worse than things not being clean. It’s the same as not washing your body once a week, at least! 

Another example of someone being ‘tough’ on themselves: when I was in College, I was more focused than I had ever been in High School. I wanted to do well. I did not care if I received an A, as long as I knew I put in the time and effort to do the work. I felt a sense of accomplishment no matter what the Grade was. I did not strive to get A’s or seem to have to Prove myself to be the Best of the Best. I am often proud of others’ Successes whether they received Rewards and high achievement Awards, what matters to me is the work they put in and what they can use in the Real World to make their lives and the lives of others better. Here comes a judgment: I DO NOT LIKE PEOPLE WHO ARE TOUGH ON THEMSELVES, who believe they have to have it so Perfect down to the wire. Ack! Can you see me running flailing my arms? Maybe I need a change of behavior or thought on that. The people I admire the most is anyone in the Psychology field. Later I am going to mention my favorite Psychologists and some of my favorite LIfe Coaches and Spirituality Leaders that have helped me in tremendous ways! These are people who I believe did not have to be so tough on themselves and yet maybe in a way they have been. 

Having Different Perspectives

Having Different Perspectives

by | Jun 10, 2020 | Self Care, Self Development, Self Improvement

About four years ago I took a two-day Course in Customer Service Problem Solving Skills and how to deal with Upset Customers and in the Course I remember we had to look at several pictures that had two or three different pictures within one drawing and another that had several hidden items within a picture. Both of these exercises were used to help us see or gain a different perspective to how things are drawn or even sometimes written into something. It is more difficult for us to understand what someone’s meaning is if they don’t fully explain it. What I mean by this is that people speak incompletely. I often called it speaking in riddles. Two particular members of my family would leave things out or not explain their full meanings to something. I was supposed to automatically know what they meant. I am laughing out loud. I have had to think hard and Research and analyze what other people have meant. Can you see me rolling my eyes? 

I recently had a member of my family explain the difference between someone who is Logical and someone who may be too emotional to understand what they mean by something. What I find funny is that when this person played a Ted Talks video on the keys to using facts versus emotions, that within that same Video, it talked about having different perspectives. Nowhere in this tough discussion with this family member did they recognize that. I came to the Conclusion from our discussion that I was the only one who would be able to see their perspective and yet they could not see mine. Head tilt. Bottom line, apparently emotions are not facts. Why couldn’t they just say that? Shrugging it off. How does one have a discussion with someone who is logical and not empathic? Is it possible? 

When I talk about emotions not being fact; to me, all emotions are Valid. It does not mean that another person will take them as Real. Why? Because they can not and are not able to put themselves into your shoes. Because they did not go through what you went through emotionally, things that could have traumatized us or left us feeling abandoned. Empathic people are the Only ones who are able to do this. My emotions were not ever allowed to truly be shown growing up and even now as an Adult sadly. In psychology, therapists talk about this not being seen or even heard. That nothing we said would ever be validated or understood or shown Compassion and to help us work through and identify where our behaviors could be modified. 

Perhaps Interview empathic people who have different perspectives. 

Loving Myself and Gaining My Power

Loving Myself and Gaining My Power

by | May 10, 2020 | Self Care, Self Development

There are so many things and people that have distracted me from my Dreams, Goals and from what I REALLY wanted to contribute to others. I believe that we all have it within us to contribute, add value and Love into people’s lives. Giving and Loving adds an impressionable change or shift in the Lives of others. I have observed people who can choose a Career that they have wanted to do for the rest of their lives and some people who did not know at all or who have changed Career paths. I have been so EXTREMELY distracted since my early twenties. I really truly believed I needed someone alongside me, a companion, a forever friend. I believed I would meet people who would be aligned with the same dreams and goals that I wanted to accomplish in Life; a Supporting Cast so to speak, a team of people all working on the same thing. I have learned the hard way and over the Course of twenty-three years that that just was not going to happen for me. I am my Biggest cheerleader. My Only optimist. The only person who listens to me. The only one who truly knows what it is that I have to give. It’s a shame that no one else has really been able to see that about me. It’s a shame that I have not ever been truly heard or understood either. Oh no, we are not allowed to bring emotions and feelings into the mix, “to be understood”. Isn’t that what we all crave or want? To be heard and seen?! 

There is no greater truth than having a sense of Power and control over our lives. So much goes into having this Power. Words such as having confidence, assurance of ourselves, knowing what we bring to the table by learning and educating ourselves. We all have to gain Life experiences and make mistakes to strive for excellence; to become better versions of ourselves. No one should take your Power away and we should not allow them to either!!! Being resilient or to not allow our thoughts and emotions to get the best of us. Thoughts and emotions can definitely hold us back from using our Gifts and giving away what we have to offer; using our true Power to make and enrich our Lives and the lives of others. I have hoped and prayed for resiliency, to not allow my emotions and losses get the best of me. Sometimes I can push emotions so far down and not even realize I didn’t deal with them. I have had to Let Go, to TOTALLY release them! It is such a cleansing Process. To be able to Let Go of the people, thoughts, and things that no longer have served me. 

Please Meditate and Do Yoga!

Please Meditate and Do Yoga!

by | May 10, 2020 | Exercise, Self Care

If you feel depression and Anxiety and you want a Life change. Please find a therapist. Please get on medication if you can find one for you? Please get up and exercise and move your Body. Please Journal your thoughts and feelings. Please Journal just about anything to get it all out. To get out all ruminating thoughts. Journal about your future. Journal about what you want to become. Journal about your past. These are all healing tools. Self-care is so vital and important to feeling good, to feeling better about yourself and your Life and I promise when you do the work on yourself, you’re going to feel like a Million bucks. I have found that with Major Anxiety that Meditations to start to feel confident, motivated, get Clarity, staying in the present moment instead of worrying about the future and what it may look like, or getting too excited about it like I do, as well as developing Creative ideas will well-up inside you. You will discover things about yourself that you may not have ever thought were within you. Meditation definitely brings out the best in you. It brings out the Love in you. It brings out the passions in you. It will make you feel good. I promise! This is the same for Yoga! Don’t jump on me for suggesting Yoga, cause honestly, some people don’t want to Run. At least I don’t, I don’t want to break an ankle, a toe, or make my right knee any worse than it already is from any activity or Sport I did in my early Life. So please get to those funny, bendy positions that Yoga offers. You will laugh at yourself. I also believe stretching parts of our bodies that are so stressed and tense really helps loosen you up, especially if you can’t afford getting massages. 

In Yoga, you will learn that there is a way to Balance all aspects of your Life, emotionally, mindfully, Spiritually, and physically. You will learn about Chakra Balancing. That every part of our body has an energy Level that helps with these different areas of our lives. To help us to become centered and Balanced. To make us stronger, and able to make good decisions for the parts of our lives that were off kilter. On some days, parts of ourselves may be especially off Balance and we have to focus on these areas a little more to build strength and stability back up. When I do Yoga, I go in with the mindset of, “How do I want to feel?” and “What do I want to change?” I absolutely Love this Practice. It is Life changing and it has extra benefits of building your Immune system, building your abdominals, legs, arms, mind and helping you lose weight!