Core Values I hold on to

This is just something extra I thought I would add that means a lot to me. All of these values hold some meaning and significance to me. All of these take practice in my eyes and not all of them can be perfected, yet we can do and try our best. Also, we have to believe that we are some of these already or already hold some of these dear to us already. Maybe we learned them from our parents, siblings, or even other friends and mentors. I believe in holding true to my Values in order to have a Life worth Loving!!! 

Assertive  (needs work)                                                 Patience

Awareness                                                                        Peace

Beauty                                                                                Power

Courage/Bravery                                                             Productivity

Certainty                                                                            Prosperity

Clarity                                                                                Purpose

Common Sense                                                                Results-Oriented

Communication                                                              Service

Collaborationg (ideas)                                                   Sharing

Competence/Abilities                                                   Security

Confidence                                                                       Significance

Connection                                                                       Spirituality

Curiosity                                                                           Strength/Vitality

Determination                                                                 Success

Empathy/Feelings                                                          Thankful/Gratitude

Empower/Inspire                                                           Transparent/Vulnerable/Authentic

Energy                                                                              Truth                           

Enjoyment/Pleasure/Adventure/Explore                Understanding

Excellence                                                                        Uniqueness/Openness

Focus                                                                                 Unity

Growth/Learning                                                             Vision/Perspective

Harmony                                                                            Wisdom

Health

Hope

Inquistive

Intelligence

Leadership

Love

Loyalty

Motivation

Optimism

Organization

Limited Beliefs Hold You Back

Limited Beliefs Hold You Back

I actually can’t believe I am about to say this, but it seems most of my Life I have felt too afraid to accomplish the small goals towards my Bigger goals and Dreams that I wanted. For instance, being a Small Business Entrepreneur, it seems nowdays that more and more Business are also Online Marketing and advertising. All of that can be used to explain at a later time, I suppose. The bottom line for me is that I have held myself back, given up, taken much longer than needed breaks, allowed others to persuade me not to go down a certain path on my way to the bigger path. Mostly I believe, I have held my own self back, yet it was easy for me to blame others. I needed a more supportive Group of people surrounding me. I needed people who maybe had the same goals or direction as I did or that knew how to get me to the final destination. Perhaps even a researcher or personal assistants, and even other people who could and would be assigned to certain tasks to help me get to a certain goal faster. I have seen this with other Authors I have followed. I needed a ‘Supporting Cast’ to be guided to the desired outcome.

When I see other people succeed, I often wonder how big a team they have working with them or standing behind them? There are so many successful people who have Businesses and who are branding and marketing themselves online. This is how I imagine other places of Business, celebrities, writers, Managers and leaders are. They all have to have a team of people, no matter how big or small.

Within the last month or so, during the Covid-19 Pandemic, I had a conversation with my sister explaining briefly my desire to have a ‘Supporting Cast’. She didn’t ask me what it is that I thought someone would do to help me out? No one in my extended or immediate family has ever asked me. The worst part is when someone has Limited Beliefs about what someone can do. It seems I will have to work on it alone, “independently”, assigning myself small goals and tasks to get me to the next step on my own!

 

Most of the people in my family have doubts about themselves, didn’t believe they could do something, or we just simply thought about something more than we took an action to accomplish it. It takes tons of Researching, learning, writing, and pure God-given talent and ability to retain information to be useful in the Real World, to be able to contribute to the World and others. It is completely sad when we judge ourselves and our abilities. When we don’t believe we are good enough. I am shaking my head a little. I believe that having Limiting Beliefs is a conditioned and learned experienced passed down from our parents and from other people who are negative minded, or just don’t have a belief that ANYTHING is possible or can be done if we believe in it strongly enough. People can be told repetitively that something may not work and then we REALLY, TRULY believe it; therefore never even giving it a chance or try.

I believe that when we have Limiting Beliefs, the next step is to really seek Validation and Positive affirmations from an Outside source. I have been advised not to seek Outside Validation. I believe it’s healthy to be given positive affirmations. It helps feed our subconscious into doing Greater things. I will tell you what!, the last 5 months have been phenomenal for me because I have found so much outside validation to get me motivated, pumped up, enthused, maybe a little more confident about approaching my goals. I have learned what to say to myself, how to talk positively about myself, how to deal with my emotions, how to build Resiliency, how not to listen to others’ negative opinions about whether I could or could not accomplish something. It has taken me a long ass time to Validate myself, as I could not ever get it from people who could not ever give it to me.

Perhaps include a Story about how other people had Limited Beliefs and where they got them from???

 

 

Standing By Your Values

Standing By Your Values

Perhaps the most important and best thing we can ever do for ourselves is not to allow others to persuade us out of what we truly Believe. The things we know won’t harm us. The things that would never cause us to lose our health and to truly be able to give to others, not just one person. It is EXTREMELY important to look out for ourselves. I hold on to values of really not trying to hurt someone else. I have however also gotten vengeance on someone that hurt me and it didn’t really do much in the long run. By that, I mean, it didn’t change that person from ever wronging me again. Sure, it hurt the person I got back, yet it didn’t change anything in our relationship in the long run. I know that sounded repetitive. 

Some of my values and beliefs have changed incredibly in the last three to four years. I definitely see things from a totally different perspective than all of the members of my Immediate family and perhaps even differently than my extended family. I told myself that I would be completely vulnerable and share some of the beliefs that I have. I have definitely changed my Spiritual perspective and that is only because the Christians in my Life have tunnel-vision. They don’t have the same heart as me when it comes to possibly opening their doors up to someone who could be homeless, especially not their own bloodline. I have been homeless and felt like I had no control of my own Life and decisions and nowhere else to go and no one else to turn to for Safety. Do not get me wrong though, and I am completely sounding like a double-standard here, but there are certain people I would not open my door to as well. Two of my most memorable experiences of people in my Life that were not Christian who did anything for me were my Catholic friends. My old friend and acquaintance Katey and her parents opened their doors to me when I was struggling and also my Pretend adopted mother Geneva. I will never forget either of these Groups of people for as long as I live. I would elaborate on the Story, yet it just goes to show that good things and miracles come when you least expect and from people you least expect. 

The last four men I had had a relationship and friendship with were completely toxic to me and really had nothing to offer me. I made believe in my mind that they had something to give as I had seen them give to other people in both big and small ways. I wanted to be given the same way. I wanted to feel Safe and protected by them. I compromised everything and all my Values for them, for a false fantasy. Needless to say, lessons are definitely learned. I am probably Only going to say this once, if you are a Parent, PLEASE NEVER hesitate to tell your children to “Love themselves”, explain what it means, to not Sacrifice your own health and mind over someone else, especially if they hurt you once or even maybe a dozen times. There needs to be a line you draw, a Boundary. 

There is so much fun relative to the Values you hold true to. A new value I am going to hold on to much like the word Loyalty is being Competent. My therapist at the moment just shared this word with me and I’m going to tell you that I have seen this word so many times in my Job Search. Companies and people want someone who is competent and able and who is fully going to Show up. Ironically, I already knew this, it’s just I have to constantly tell myself EVERY SINGLE Day just as I will show up for myself in my own Business!!!

 

 

Showing Up for Myself and Others

Showing Up for Myself and Others

So the other day I had listened to a good educational Class on Branding and how we can represent and show up for ourselves and for others and it got me thinking. I was hoping and praying to be able to think more clearly and gain some Clarity and Creativity as I was having blocks to what I would write next. About seven or eight months ago, I had all these ideas in my head and some of them stuck with me and others just left. I wish I had written all of them down now. Some I did write down and that’s what I have already written about. So, as I was watching this Branding Class, I realized that the one Common Denominator is how we Show up, how we Love, how we give what we have to give and to share. 

Much of my bloodline has said I didn’t have much to give and yet they never really observed or knew what I have already done and accomplished in my Life. My siblings were raised up to compete and compare ourselves to one another, particularly my baby sister and my second oldest brother. Often my brother doesn’t realize the truth about the woman I lived with the last seven and a half years. It doesn’t matter anyhow whether some people don’t know the real truth. We all chose to see what we chose to see. 

When I signed up to be a Member of the Assembly of God Church in 2015, I learned what my Spiritual Gifts were. Some people in the Real Working World may also call these Values, Knowledge and even Soft Skills. My Spiritual Gifts are Knowledge and Wisdom. I also have the ability to understand empathic people. I can understand other people’s pains, struggles, and hardships. I have been in their shoes. I have been judged as they have been judged, especially if we made several wrong turns in Life, or Here it Comes!, we just totally Gave up on Ourselves cause things got too hard. 

Anxiety can totally take over when we have so much to Give, so much to offer the World. Things to say to hopefully give other people insight and perspective, knowledge to Grow, to Succeed and how to make things work in a Balanced way. I have struggled with Anxiety when someone makes me nervous as well. When people in a position of Authority already, it is EXTREMELY difficult for them to see other perspectives. I am more drawn to people who are willing to be creative and accept the possibility that something else may work if we give it a try. We don’t know unless we TRY the ideas. That is where we may fail to make something or someone better! 

The other part of my Anxiety is becoming so anxious about getting something accomplished. I get excited about putting my Goals and plans into action. I have to stop myself and realize I need to break things down. I need an Outline. I have done a ton of Research and sadly, I have almost always forgotten to take notes. Me? Not writing things down? Ha. If I wrote everything down, I would be so disorganized. I already have two Journals as it is. I have a Journal for my Daily and weekly things I have done and accomplished, people I pray for and I also have a Future Self Journal with all my future ideas. Organizing is important. I have had to figure out a method to put things in their proper place so you know where to go for the much needed things. 

There are many times over that we may have to Come back to ourselves when we Sacrifice too much for someone else. I have allowed so many distractions in my Life, including believing I could help fix someone, particularly broken men. I have always had to Come back to myself. To reset my mind and my Subconscious. To really know my worth for people who broke me down and made me doubt myself and what I am capable of. Projection is a nasty thing! I am thankful to all my Positive mentors who have told me to go where the energy is, to go where you see a need, to go where there are like-minded people who have similar knowledge and experience to offer. People who are in need who want help are the easiest to work with. They believe in Growth, they believe in something better awaiting for them. You will know the difference after your help has been turned down so many times. Just keep trying, just keep working, just keep Loving as much as possible!