Limited Beliefs Hold You Back

Limited Beliefs Hold You Back

by | Sep 10, 2020 | Life Experience, Living Your Dreams, Mentoring, Perseverence, Resilience, Self Improvement, Uncategorized

I actually can’t believe I am about to say this, but it seems most of my Life I have felt too afraid to accomplish the small goals towards my Bigger goals and Dreams that I wanted. For instance, being a Small Business Entrepreneur, it seems nowdays that more and more Business are also Online Marketing and advertising. All of that can be used to explain at a later time, I suppose. The bottom line for me is that I have held myself back, given up, taken much longer than needed breaks, allowed others to persuade me not to go down a certain path on my way to the bigger path. Mostly I believe, I have held my own self back, yet it was easy for me to blame others. I needed a more supportive Group of people surrounding me. I needed people who maybe had the same goals or direction as I did or that knew how to get me to the final destination. Perhaps even a researcher or personal assistants, and even other people who could and would be assigned to certain tasks to help me get to a certain goal faster. I have seen this with other Authors I have followed. I needed a ‘Supporting Cast’ to be guided to the desired outcome.

When I see other people succeed, I often wonder how big a team they have working with them or standing behind them? There are so many successful people who have Businesses and who are branding and marketing themselves online. This is how I imagine other places of Business, celebrities, writers, Managers and leaders are. They all have to have a team of people, no matter how big or small.

Within the last month or so, during the Covid-19 Pandemic, I had a conversation with my sister explaining briefly my desire to have a ‘Supporting Cast’. She didn’t ask me what it is that I thought someone would do to help me out? No one in my extended or immediate family has ever asked me. The worst part is when someone has Limited Beliefs about what someone can do. It seems I will have to work on it alone, “independently”, assigning myself small goals and tasks to get me to the next step on my own!

 

Most of the people in my family have doubts about themselves, didn’t believe they could do something, or we just simply thought about something more than we took an action to accomplish it. It takes tons of Researching, learning, writing, and pure God-given talent and ability to retain information to be useful in the Real World, to be able to contribute to the World and others. It is completely sad when we judge ourselves and our abilities. When we don’t believe we are good enough. I am shaking my head a little. I believe that having Limiting Beliefs is a conditioned and learned experienced passed down from our parents and from other people who are negative minded, or just don’t have a belief that ANYTHING is possible or can be done if we believe in it strongly enough. People can be told repetitively that something may not work and then we REALLY, TRULY believe it; therefore never even giving it a chance or try.

I believe that when we have Limiting Beliefs, the next step is to really seek Validation and Positive affirmations from an Outside source. I have been advised not to seek Outside Validation. I believe it’s healthy to be given positive affirmations. It helps feed our subconscious into doing Greater things. I will tell you what!, the last 5 months have been phenomenal for me because I have found so much outside validation to get me motivated, pumped up, enthused, maybe a little more confident about approaching my goals. I have learned what to say to myself, how to talk positively about myself, how to deal with my emotions, how to build Resiliency, how not to listen to others’ negative opinions about whether I could or could not accomplish something. It has taken me a long ass time to Validate myself, as I could not ever get it from people who could not ever give it to me.

Perhaps include a Story about how other people had Limited Beliefs and where they got them from???

 

 

Living in Heaven

Living in Heaven

by | Apr 10, 2020 | Life Experience, Living Your Dreams

There is nothing in the World that is more calming yet scary than water. Water gives me a Sense of Safety and yet also signifies challenge. My memory of the first time I laid eyes on a Body of water was when I lived in the Country on the Potomac River in Virginia. There was nothing as peaceful and serene as the stillness of it and the sunrises and sunsets on it. My father had hung a swing on a tree branch and right above a slight incline that took us down to the dock and small beach on the water that was in front of our house. If you swung too high and tried to jump, you would surely roll down it. Luckily, neither myself nor anyone else who swung on it had the misfortune of falling off. The Country River house was the definition of every bit of Safety to me. For the most part, I had good friends and went to a good School and had good teachers. 

Nothing can prepare a young ten year old to ever have to leave her Safety. My father had symptoms of a heart attack from having “Heart disease” which would lead to his first Bypass surgery and we were forced to move to the City. Things happened so quickly. Occasionally however, we did get to go back down to the River for a little getaway or to gain back some Serenity and Peace. So, when we first moved to the City; my mother, sister and father were all living together in a two-bedroom in one of my father’s apartment Buildings. One of my brothers was in College and the other was in his last year of High School, I believe, so they did not have to endure living there as long as my sister and I had. Luckily, about a year or two later (as my memory can remember), my father finally bought us a house in the City at a really good rate. 

Our second home was fantastic. My mother put on many parties and events there. Her side of the family and friends of families of the Daycare my mother helped run for about nine years near our home would come over. There was not ever a dull moment in this house that I lived in. My mother kept that house running for a little over twenty years. It blows my mind to think about all that we lived through there. It is almost like a blur to me. I drive by it once or twice a year, and always see an image of my father walking away from me when I was twenty-three and had just started dating military men. I have to laugh, as I believe he was angry and jealous of the news that his first born daughter was choosing a different path in Life. I do not miss that home and honestly do not miss the Country home either. When people say, we start New Chapters, we REALLY do, and don’t ever look back! 

Heaven has a different definition for each of us. My heaven was anywhere I may not have had to deal with not being seen or even heard. Heaven was getting away from gossip, conflict, judgment, false blame and guilt, and told I was not doing things good enough. Heaven was staying in my room in our second house listening to music, fantasizing about movie celebrities and writing in my Journal. Music was my Saving Grace. Music was my Lifeline. Music spoke volumes to me and it brought me so much Love, Joy, and comfort I needed during my Parents divorce. Heaven comes in many forms. 

When I was younger living in our second family home in the City, I often imagined and dreamed of being able to “Get Away” or to travel more with someone; whether it be a male companion or friends. I had not ever imagined in my wildest dreams that I would actually get to have travelled all due to and thanks to meeting people in the Military. My first and only husband and I wound up doing ‘just that’. He gave me the opportunity to travel. Not that I had not already had the experience of travelling to Europe in 1997. I did not or had not met my now ex-husband until the following year after I had travelled to Italy to meet another Love interest I had at the time. 

Beyond my wildest dreams Only like it happens in fairy tales, namely like in the book “Cinderella”, would I have ever imagined my first and Only marriage partner, ever buying me/us, a home. It was my third Heaven. Heaven defining a ‘home’, a Safe place to live. Some place I could remember forever. Call me a dreamer. Call me spoiled. Call me Selfish, yet We are all allowed to have our own dreams, whether it be a home or a dream of accomplishing something we’re proud at  something we’re working towards. I am extremely lucky and fortunate to have had GREAT places to live. My heaven! 

There are many, many other places I can say that were Heaven to me. Places I’ve travelled to. There is nothing that can make you forget the images and scenery you remember for a Lifetime. Pictures to me don’t ever justify what you remember in your minds-eye, NOT EVER!!! 

Big Dreams at a Young Age

Big Dreams at a Young Age

by | Apr 8, 2020 | Living Your Dreams, Self Development

Match Box cars and Barbie dolls were my two favorite toys to play with. Playing Dress up and watching the ‘Dukes of Hazard’ were highlights of my Life when our family lived in the Country. Nothing sticks out like the memory of playing Match box cars with my father and having a vivid memory of things I wanted to do when I “grew up”. I used to play School ‘teacher’ with my sister who is four years younger than me. She and I took turns planning lessons. So, my main three ideas or dreams of what I wanted to do with my Life, were to become a teacher, entrepreneur or actress. I was only five when I had these ideas. I do not believe I have ever had a close enough friendship with any of my female friends who ever said they had dreams of what they wanted to do at the age of five. Maybe I am putting myself on a pedestal here thinking I have IDEAS above and beyond what anyone else could ever accomplish, yet I know that isn’t true. There are many GREATS that have accomplished far more than me. Needless to say, I have had a fear of failure and also of Success which I’ll explain later. Remember, this is my truth, this is my story, this is my mind. All of what I write has only ever been told to my mother really. 

In 1995, about a year after I finally graduated from High School, I finally set out to try to become an entrepreneur and attend Community College majoring in Business Administration. I would continue to pursue my Business degree at a couple more Colleges from 2000 to 2003 and still did not graduate from either College. My mind always wound up thinking about the next best thing or Career I thought I could conquer. I compared myself to other people in my Life. I wanted to do what they did. 

So now in the year 2020, I may say, I didn’t ever imagine that all new ideas would come to me. Although, I have one major idea that has stuck with me for the past 6 or 7 years and perhaps all of my Life and that was that I wanted to write and possibly put a book out about the adventures of my Life and to also help others realize that we all make mistakes, we may all have regrets about choices we didn’t follow up on or continue to pursue, that we gave up on too soon. I wrote plays when I was probably twelve to maybe eighteen years old and my sister, her best friend at the time and I used to act them out. Now, maybe a little more passionately than who that young girl was, I want to help people realize their Gifts and potential. So many people doubt themselves because of other people telling them they can’t and that it would be too hard. All of those are false thoughts. The people who tell you these things are just afraid to do anything themselves. They do not take time to plan, educate, learn something new or pursue a higher Goal or purpose, not just for others, but for themselves, to feel a GREAT sense of accomplishment. This Life is not always all about us, it is about others as well. The greatest feeling is realizing you did something good. Self-care is so important. I have learned that as well because I felt I gave my all to other people (mostly men that I thought I knew how to fix or Love) and needed to Take care of me first.